I'm certainly loving my tomatoes!!!
Another yummy breakfast.
So, what do you do when you don't know what to do??
KIDS - AARRGH!
Eldest has decided to go back to the boyfriend. He has treated her badly, she says everything was her fault - after he told that to DH of course among many other things he said. It was his conversation with DH that was it for us. Our opposition to her decision but more so her behaviour and treatment of her family has not gone down well. She's not heartbroken anymore, but I am. She can't understand why we're not embracing the reconciliation like she is, after all the things he said and the way she was treated. We were there for her, we cried for her, we loved her no matter what. She is our daughter. She is shunning her family.
Last night when I went to bed, the tears start falling and I couldn't stop them. I thought of that beautiful little baby I so proudly brought home from hospital. The little girl who was always laughing and off in some imaginative world. The teenager starting high school who was bewildered by the bitching and how nasty other girls could be - 'why can't everyone be friends mum'. To the seventeen year old who said 'you did a good job raising us mum', when she left school. To the lovely young lady she was becoming who was so kind and sweet, this is not who she is anymore.
I look at her, I can't find my girl. She is lost in some place and I'm scared she'll never find her way out.
In some way I feel I have failed her. I've been a good mum. Not perfect, I made lots of mistakes. There were a lot of times I couldn't find that damn manual on parenting - that's right, there's not one, it was trial and error and a whole lot of gut feeling. Gut feeling is often good - why does it feel so bad now?
Of course we will always be here for her. She's our daughter ..... but I can't find my girl.
What do you do, when you don't know what to do??
I hope you all have a great week :)
Another yummy breakfast.
So, what do you do when you don't know what to do??
KIDS - AARRGH!
Eldest has decided to go back to the boyfriend. He has treated her badly, she says everything was her fault - after he told that to DH of course among many other things he said. It was his conversation with DH that was it for us. Our opposition to her decision but more so her behaviour and treatment of her family has not gone down well. She's not heartbroken anymore, but I am. She can't understand why we're not embracing the reconciliation like she is, after all the things he said and the way she was treated. We were there for her, we cried for her, we loved her no matter what. She is our daughter. She is shunning her family.
Last night when I went to bed, the tears start falling and I couldn't stop them. I thought of that beautiful little baby I so proudly brought home from hospital. The little girl who was always laughing and off in some imaginative world. The teenager starting high school who was bewildered by the bitching and how nasty other girls could be - 'why can't everyone be friends mum'. To the seventeen year old who said 'you did a good job raising us mum', when she left school. To the lovely young lady she was becoming who was so kind and sweet, this is not who she is anymore.
I look at her, I can't find my girl. She is lost in some place and I'm scared she'll never find her way out.
In some way I feel I have failed her. I've been a good mum. Not perfect, I made lots of mistakes. There were a lot of times I couldn't find that damn manual on parenting - that's right, there's not one, it was trial and error and a whole lot of gut feeling. Gut feeling is often good - why does it feel so bad now?
Of course we will always be here for her. She's our daughter ..... but I can't find my girl.
What do you do, when you don't know what to do??
I hope you all have a great week :)
Julie, you are in my thoughts...
ReplyDeleteWhen I don´ t know what to do I regard what was happend, only the facts, without emotions, then I pray and trust in God/fate that all will come as it should.
I think it is important to keep her in your mind in love and never close the doors to your heart and home.
all the best to you!
Hello Heike, thank you for your kind thoughts. Yes, she is always in my heart and home, its so difficult being a parent sometimes. What will be, will be and I believe things work out how they are meant to be, whether its what you want or not. There is a purpose to everything, sometimes we never know why.
DeleteThank you :)